I Know We're Wasting Time

We're supposed to be nursing, I know. But she's being so cute. Phil is in the kitchen, banging things around. He's in a hurry to get her into bed. He's Had Enough. I'm sorry, Phil, I can't resist.

Violet's eyes are wild. I grab her left arm and lift it up. "Boooop!" I say with a rising tone. And then I bring it back down. "Booooop." Falling tone. Violet grabs my arm back. "Boooop! Boooop!" We lift our arms together up and down. She laughs so hard I can see the blank space in her mouth, where the teeth used to be. I am getting used to the way it looks; she looks kind of like Tiny Baby Violet again, not such a bad thing.

"Let's point!" I tell her, tiring of the arm-lifting game. "We can point up! And down! And now I'll point at you!" She swats my hand away, complaining "No point!"

"OK then, you point at me!" I suggest. She likes that. She points right into my mouth.

"I dentist," she tells me.

"Baby dentist. Baby dentist, DDS." I obediently open my mouth so she can check me.

"Nursing, nursing!" she demands, pulling at my shirt.

"Violet, ask me nicely." This is something we're working on.

"Nursing please, this side," she says, her eyes so honest and limpid and pure that I want to cry.

"Yes, baby, yes, my nursing baby. Mamas love to nurse their babies, that's what mamas love to do." I snuggle into her hair. What does she smell like? Juicy Fruit gum? Cotton T-shirts and nutmeg? Her hair is soft silky wisp, baby hair still.

"Meow!" she meows. She told me earlier this week that her cat name is Sophie.

"Sophie cat! You came to visit me! Do you want a cat treat?" She giggles and gobbles from the palm of my hand. She is wearing the new pajamas we bought her for $1 at a garage sale, weird looking Japanese ones with propeller-beanie-wearing robots marked "Robot A" all over them.

"I love your new pajamas, Sophie cat!"

"Meow, yes!"

"Can you talk in a robot voice, Robot A?" I ask in a robot voice.

She clears her throat. "Yes. I robot." She deepens her voice. "IIIIII robot." It's not a bad robot voice, considering.

"Robot A, is that your name, Robot? Robot A?"

"Yes, robot."

"Violet, are you ready to brush your teeth?" Phil intrudes. He hears us giggling from the kitchen.

"No Daddy, nursin'," says Violet. But the second Phil walks out she begs me for "Two mon, mama! Two mon!" That means she wants me to walk my fingers up and down her stomach. She laughs rapturously.

"Hey, I think this is a cave! Echo, echo!" says one of the two men, in his high squeaky voice, pausing by her ear. "And I think this is a bird's nest," the other one offers. "let's go to sleep!" They snore.

"Wake up!" shrieks Violet suddenly, with her big booming toddler laugh. I reach under her and roll her on top of me. "I'm awake! I'm awake!"

I never want this kid to go to sleep. I could do this all night.