Voyeur

We were gone all day to a free concert in San Francisco, the Stern Grove Festival. We got there late so the only seating was high up on a hill. We spread out our blanket, ate our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and watched the band. Eventually Violet wanted to dance, we'd brought her special dancing ribbon toy for just that reason. Phil took her down to a level spot on a little wooden bridge. I was watching them dance together when the band started playing a jazz version of "You Are My Sunshine." I got such a stinging in my eyes. My mama used to sing that to me. It seems like yesterday. Now I sing it to Violet. And I was up on the hill crying because I wondered if the years would pass as quickly for her as they have for me, if it would all pass in a blink of an eye and small Violet would be lost to me forever. I want so much to hold on to this time but it just slips through my fingers like water, gone forever. I want to soak in every second, I want to drink her up. My little Violet, dancing on the bridge with her Daddy. She looked so happy. I wiped away my tears before I went down to join them.